Husband's Responsibility Etiquette Towards His Wife

It is certainly not deficiency, but rather good manners, that the husband shares responsibility in household work like mending garments or what is similar to that. The wife takes care of the household affairs. So, it is from good manners that the husband extends a helping hand to his wife in the house during times of necessity such as when she is sick, pregnant, has given birth, etc. A man should not feel shy in serving himself.
 
The exemplary husband is he who cooperates with his wife by keeping good relations and showing kind manners (to her). Truly, the husbands who help their wives in their work are the best of mankind in the view of Islam. This good way of living between the spouses must be deeply imbedded into the daily marital life, even if the matter were to reach divorce.
 
Beware of characterizing the relationship between the spouses with over-seriousness. For indeed characterizing the family life with a militaristic nature amounts to one of the causes for failure and bad results.
 
Among the kind and noble manners of the husband is that he complies and assents to the requests of his wife, so long as they are not forbidden in the Religion. Extravagance in food, drink and clothing leads to the door of forbidden things in the Religion.

 

No human being is perfect. So no doubt the husband will see things in his wife that do not comply with his preferences. If these aspects are not in opposition to the fundaments of the Religion or to the obedience of the husband and his rights, then he should not try to change her personality to make it comply with his preferences.
 
He must always remember that for each one of the couple, there will be an aspect of one's personality that conflicts with the other's personality. The husband should always remember that if he doesn't like some things in his wife, then indeed she will have other characteristics that are definitely pleasing to him.
 
Do not look for the errors of your wife and recount them to her, for too much blaming and reprimanding will worsen the relationship between the two of you, and it will pose a threat to your marital life. So overlook each other's mistakes.
 
If you are able, do not hold back from providing your wife with good clothing and food, and from being generous in spending money on her. This is of course according to the extent of your ability.
 
Do not belittle the importance of correcting your wife if she does things that go against the Religion. This should be the main, if not the only reason that should cause you to become angry.
 
The woman is the head of the household, the one responsible for it. So do not attempt to meddle into affairs that do not fall into your area of duties and responsibilities, such as the food and the upkeep of the house.
 
Beware of scolding your wife in presence of others, even if they are your own children. For indeed that is unsuitable behavior that turn the hearts of people against each other.
 
Having protective jealousy and caring about the modesty of your wife is a praiseworthy thing, which shows your love for her. However it is on the condition that you do not go to great lengths in this jealousy. For then at that point, it would turn into something worthy of no praise.
 
Beware of divulging any secrets connected with the intimate encounters you have with your wife, for that is something restricted and forbidden.
 
Constantly maintain the cleaning of your mouth and the freshening of your breath.
 
Guardianship of your wife doesn't mean that you can exploit what Allah has bestowed upon you from taking charge of her, such that you harm and oppress her.
 
Showing respect and kindness to your wife's family is showing respect and kindness to her. And this applies even after her death.
 
Too much joking will lead to (your family having) little fear (of disobeying you) and a lack of respect for you. So do not joke too much and lose respect.
 
Fulfilling the conditions that you promised your wife in the marriage contract is very important.. So do not neglect that after getting married.
 
When you advise her or simply talk to her, choose the kindest and nicest of words and expressions. It is not proper for you to ask your wife to look for work outside the house or to spend upon you from her wealth.
 
Do not overburden your wife with chores that she is not able to handle. Consider, with extreme regard, the environment she was raised up in. Work in rural atmosphere is not like that in urban places. What a strong woman is prepared for and able to do, cannot be done by a weak woman.

50 things to know about marriage

1. Great relationships don't just happen; they are created. You have to work at it.

2. If your job takes all of your best energy, your marriage will suffer.

3. One of the greatest gifts you can give your spouse is your own happiness.

4. It is possible to love and hate someone at the same time.

5. When you complain about your spouse to your friends (which you shouldn't), remember that their feedback can be distorted.

6. The only rules in your marriage are those you both choose to agree with.

7. It is not conflict that destroys marriage; it is the cold, smoldering resentment that you hold for a long time.

8. It's not what you've got, it's what you do with what you have.

9. If you think you are too good for your spouse, think again.

10. Growing up in a happy household doesn't ensure a happy marriage, or vice versa.

11. It's never too late to repair damaged trust.

12. The real issue is usually not the one you are arguing about.

13. Love isn't just a feeling; it is expressed through our actions.

14. Expectations set us up for disappointment and resentment.

15. Arguments cannot be avoided, but destructive arguments can be avoided.

16. One of the greatest gifts you can give your spouse is focused attention.

17. Even people with happy marriages sometimes worry that they married the wrong person.

18. Your spouse cannot rescue you from unhappiness, but they can help you rescue yourself.

19. The cost of a lie is far greater than any advantage you gain from speaking it.

20. Your opinion is not necessarily the truth.

21. Trust takes years to establish and moments to destroy.

22. Guilt-tripping won't get you what you really want.

23. Don't neglect your friends.

24. If you think, "You are not the person I married," you are probably right.

25. Resisting the temptation to prove your point will win you a lot of points.

26. Generosity of spirit is the foundation of a good marriage.

27. If your spouse is being defensive, you might be giving them reasons to be like that.

28. Marriage isn't 50/50; it's 100/100.

29. You can pay now or pay later, but the later you pay, the more interest and penalties you acquire.

30. Marriage requires sacrifice, but your benefits outweigh your costs.

31. Forgiveness isn't a one-time event; it's a continuous process.

32. Accepting the challenges of marriage will shape you into a better person.

33. Creating a marriage is like launching a rocket: once it clears the pull of gravity, it takes much less energy to sustain the flight.

34. A successful marriage has more to do with how you deal with your current reality than with what you've experienced in the past.

35. Don't keep feelings of gratitude to yourself.

36. There is no greater eloquence than the silence of real listening.

37. One of the greatest questions to ask your spouse is "How best can I love you?"

38. Marriage can stay fresh over time.

39. Assumptions are fine as long as you check them before acting upon them.

40. Intention may not be the only thing, but it is the most important thing.

41. Good sex won't make your marriage, but it'll help.

42. Privacy won't hurt your marriage, but secrecy will.

43. Possessiveness and jealousy are born out of fear, not love.

44. Authenticity is contagious and habit-forming.

45. If your spouse thinks something is important, then it is.

46. Marriage never outgrows the need for romance.

47. The sparkle of a new relationship is always temporary.

48. There is violence in silence when it's used as a weapon.

49. It's better to focus on what you can do to make things right, then what your partner did to make things wrong.

50. If you think marriage counseling is too expensive, try divorce.